Communication Magic Continued

Last post was about the three ways that people use to communicate, Visual, Auditory and Kenesthetic, and how some use a mix of these. I explained that if you could identify what words were being spoken you could use that same category of words to ensure you were better understood.


Here are a few more words to listen for and use in each category:

Visual Words - Appear, bare, behold, blind, bug-eyed, clear, dark, dawn, depth, eyesore, facet, focus, gleam, glint, golden, hairy, hazy, illusions, image, insight, looker, mirage, peek, peer, picture, spotlight, see, shine, shadow, tunnel vision, transparent, unsightly, vague, veiled and wink.

Auditory Words - Argue, articulate, blabbermouth, carp, chatter, cry, call, clam-up deaf, echo, earful, emit, fanfare, fiddle, gab, groan, harmonize, hush, joke, hear, listen, language, mutter, murmur, moan, nag, oracle, oratory, prattle, quiet, rattle, speak, scold, sign, sing, story, tone, tune, thunder, vocal, whine, yelp.

Kinesthetic Words - Absorb, abrasive, anxiety, belt, bruise, cold, callous, caress, come to blows, chip, close, depression, dig, dribble, exert, force, flow, fidget, gentle, grab, gather, hug, hurt, heavy, intense, itch, jerk, kick, knock, lick, light, loose, move, nibble, oppressive, pressure, punch, painful, pinch, push, relax, rise, rub, save, sense, shift, soft, support, struggle, seize, squeeze, skate, sting, slap, snuggle, touch, tight, tickle, texture, unwind, vibrate, wince, wrestle, yank..

Remember that even though most people are Kinesthetic even they use others words at times. It is the main type of words a person uses that will be important. It is better to be partly understood than not at all so keep practicing and have some fun. You will begin to notice people paying closer attention when you speak to them. People like people who are like themselves.

How Would You Like To Communicate As If By Magic?

Have you ever been speaking to someone and just knew by the way they were looking at you that they really didn’t get what you were saying? Good communicators know that when this happens they have to adjust the words they are speaking so the listener can better understand them. It is not that the listener is being obtuse, or lazy.
People have an automatic built-in system for choosing the words they use when communicating with themselves and with others. This system reflects the way they meet the world. You may have noticed that some people like to feel and are always touching things to understand their textures or temperature. Others like to look at pictures and play videos games and still others like to hear lectures or tapes for understanding concepts and ideas. This is why there are so many different way out there to learn new things. Videos, CD’s, and books give a choice. Trainers know that some people learn better by watching the work performed and others by actually doing it.
If you want to communicate effectively with those around you and especially your family or partner you need to discover how each person communicates. It is fairly easy to figure out once you understand that the words they use will give them away to anyone who cares to pay attention.

A person would be a Visual if they used words or phrases like the following:

I see what you mean
I will look forward to the meeting
It is always worth noticing
This is a really nice view

A person would be an Auditory if they used words or phrases like the following:

I hear what you are saying
Those notes are melodious
That is very loud and high pitched


A person would be Kinesthetic if they used these words or phrases:

I feel really happy tonight
This towel is so soft and fluffy
I can’t put my finger on it yet
The pressure in my head is getting worse
The boss is making contact with the vendor today

Once you get used to looking, listening or putting your finger on the types of words that other people tend to use you can make the effort to remember. Then it becomes fairly easy to speak to that person using words that they would best relate to.
About 80% of the population are Kinesthetic and most people use all three of these occasionally. But each person has a main type that dominates. See if you can determine your type and remember to catch my next blog post where I will list out many more  words in each category to help you out. Have some fun with this.

Protect Your Love From Depression and Anxiety Now By Removing The Triangles

People are social animals. The proliferation of the social sites, forums and blogs certainly prove that. We would, generally, much rather go out to movies, dinner, or family get togethers on a Friday or Saturday night than sit home. The younger people are the more social they seem to be. Humans are wired like that. We need to find a mate and how would we manage to be so successful if we were seldom around other humans?
People form bonds with their beloved, their children, their close friends and their family of origin. We would hope that these bonds are healthy ones nurtured in love and thoughtfulness but that is not always the case. There are relatively few people among the billions on our planet who are really fully functioning and emotionally healthy. Knowing this, is it any wonder that when we go to family or friends for help and advice it can fall woefully short of being good for us?
Our loved ones want to give us good advice. They want to help us solve our problems. They think they have our best interests at heart. They also would really like to help you leave that guy they think is not good enough for you or that gal that just wants your money. Yes, most people have an agenda. It is probably hidden from them and they would deny it, but it is there anyway. Sometimes they are depressed or anxious themselves. That is not being cynical, but honest. If you spend any time thinking about it you would have to agree.
It is to this problem that I want to speak today. When we are having problems in our relationship, we need to discuss it and work through it with our beloved. When we go to our friends or family for help and advice we are stepping over a boundary. In psychology it is called triangulating. By putting a third person in your relationship you are lowering your depression and anxiety and upping your chance for failure.
I know people who would swear that their relationship is loving, kind and healthy and yet they are constantly talking to their best friend about their problems. I know people who pretend to want to stay married but visit a parent nearly daily to vent about all the ways their spouse continues to disappoint them.
If you want your marriage to grow and be free from anxiety and depression then make sure you don’t participate in this destructive habit. Get professional help. Join a support group. Talk to your spouse. Clear the air and work out your problems. Things either grow or die and you get to choose which way you want your relationships to go.
See my Ezinearticles for more on the subject of Triangulation and other topics: More Articles to View